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There are many books written on child
growth and development some of which can actually be useful. However,
while seeming basic, it can be useful to take a look at a broader view of
human development that can have particular interest for those who have
chosen a pastoral path.
Of particular interest are the young
adult years (18-25). The wide-eyed enthusiasm and idealism at this age has
easily been exploited in a number of ways. Consider the many waves of
recruitment of this cohort to fight in distant wars. Secular collegiate
indoctrination has made great use of this vulnerable age to provide the
coup de gras in removing Christianity from young people and replacing it
with the religion of secularism (the worship of man in general and self in
particular).
One can observe from various ten year
high school reunions that young people are trying to impress others with
the achievements, positions, wealth, or other measures of “success”.
This is in contrast to the twenty year reunions where many have succumbed
to the humility life’s problems can bring and have come to see the
foolishness of their younger selves.
From these two examples, one can plot a
development arc from age 28 to 38. However, adult development is not so
much predicated on biology as child development is (like the development
of abstract thinking around age 13). While consideration has to be given
to the biological process of aging, development for the adult is more a
result of either pursuit or environmental encounters. It has been said
that if you do not learn from the experiences of others, you will have to
learn from your own. This can occasionally be painful.
The “pursuit” approach to
development consist of those things chosen by an individual to help him
learn like classes taken, instruction sought, and inquires made. The
environmental approach can often result from exposure to the “slings and
arrows of outrageous fortune.” Things like parenthood often drive out
much of the native selfishness we often bring with us from childhood.
Old age can bring a conservatism borne
from experiences of how often and how bad things can go wrong. Youth can
bring a spirit of adventurism, boldness and even recklessness. Being able
to keep a sweeping perspective of human development can be useful as a
background to examine one’s own life, particularly from a diagnostic
perspective.
For some the pastoral path is a perfect
fit. Sadly, some for whom it is not a good fit convince themselves through
cognitive dissonance that it is a good fit. Those who are pleased with
their path will probably not find their way to this site. As a result, a
focus will be made on those for whom the pastoral path is a problem.
A person can be propelled on a pastoral
path with parental approval and encouragement. One can continue with
youthful optimism and enthusiasm and only when working in the field begin
to see that this path may not be a good fit for him. This awareness may be
delayed because of attribution to various unique personalities,
assignments, or other conditions that can be seen as problems that need to
be managed, accepted, or overcome.
For some the amount of time (percent of
lifetime arc) invested in training (bible college, seminary, graduate
studies, and internships) can represent such an huge investment that it
can be difficult to consider any alternative and that they need to “soldier
on”.
Once when taking an employment physical
the examining doctor who had noticed on the form that my father was a
doctor, asked if I didn’t mind to tell him why I decided not to become a
doctor. He said his own kids were reluctant to tell him. I told him that
we knew the difference between “being a doctor” (said with awe and a
reverential voice) and “being a doctor” (said with a cold pragmatic
voice). He said he could understand that.
Those who grew up in a home where the
father was not a pastor may not have had a realistic idea of what the job
would entail. As a result, only when the reality begins to set in may he
discover that he may have wished to follow a different path.
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